The Truth behind the Dwight Howard Buttock Scandal

Last week I wrote an in depth analysis piece, where I took a look into what is really happening with Markelle Futz and his mysterious injury. If you haven’t read yet I’d highly recommend:

Not to toot my own horn or anything by that piece went on to have wild success so as a result I will continue to do these somewhat in-depth research blogs on a recent scandal every Sunday. That brings us to this week’s scandal where i will be diving into Dwight Howard’s recent injury to his glute, or in laymen’s terms his ass. I believe he will need some kind of surgical procedure done, perhaps a buttopsy or ass realignment if you will, but what is fascinating about this injury is it’s cause. 

Earlier this week a author by the name of Masin Elije dropped what is comparable to a bomb on the sports world by tweeting out about the details of her secret relationship with Dwight. 

The basic gist of the story is Dwight was having a secret intimate relation with a trans woman named Masin Elije. Masin then found out that Dwight was not only seeing her, but was also going to what i understand are transgender sex parties ran by a some transgender prostitute orgy ringleader referred to as “Ass Pastor” being that her/his name is still unknown. I’m not gonna dig to far into that this part because I’m sure you can infer what Dwight Howard was/is doing at these parties. But following Masin’s discovering of this “Ass Pastor” began calling, stalking, threatening Masin to keep quiet about all of it presumably on Dwight Howard’s order. Dwight Howard still has yet to comment on any of these which leans me to believe the story as true 

Then later in the week the Wizards announced that Dwight Howard has a glute injury that will require surgery. However there still has been no comments or any word on where this injury stems from. To my knowledge it hasn’t been referred to as a basketball injury by the Wizards or Dwight himself. This leads me to believe that Dwight Howard has to get surgery on his butt due to him taking to much in the caboose as he is definitely a power bottom in the bedroom as opposed to a normal basketball injury. It is unclear though whether Masin Elije, his fellow orgy members, or a third party was the cause of this but I can say the mystery behind Dwight Howard’s injury, like Markelle Fultz, has been uncovered by your’s truly 


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Vice President of Operations and Editor-in-Chief of @CourtsideNet but not very good at my job, Co-Host of Courtcast, Degenerate Gambler, and Proud Philly Native

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