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The Truth Behind Rob Kraft and His Florida Hand Jibbers

Unless you live under a rock or are Amish, you probably heard the crazy news this morning. Robert Kraft, President and CEO the Patriots, has had a warrant put on him for being involved in a sex trafficking ring at a Jupiter, Florida strip mall day spa (pictured below)… yes that’s the actual place he got busted at.

Image result for jupiter florida strip mall

Jim Boeheim may be the luckiest mother fucker on the planet because never did I think the “Jim Boeheim Kills a Guy” headline could be topped, but 24 hours later here we are with with “Robert Kraft Gets Busted in Sex Trafficking Ring”.

Now let’s get into it, basically what happened was Rob Kraft pulled up to a Florida strip mall earlier in the week where he got a “massage” from what sources close to the Florida FBI are saying was a forced sex worker, who’s identity is unknown. Other notable “clients” of the Jupiter day spa include Richard “Dick” Palmer, Mingfu Lu, & 85 year old Daniel “Not So Young” Young. There is also “100% certainty” of a video that incriminates Rob Kraft going public in the near future, but sadly isn’t available yet. In spite of this a source with Rob Kraft says that they deny any illegal activity, but honestly he should just own it at this point. According to my writer @coolguypgh, he will only face a max 2 months in prison which isn’t terrible and considering he’s besties with Meek Mill Kraft definitely has a hella ton of street cred.

The people I really feel for are the Brady kids. I’m sure that none of them asked Tom to continue kissing them on the lips for eternity, but now they may have some sort of sex trafficking super STD because of it. Bad parenting on the supposed “GOAT” Tom Brady if I do say so myself.

-VP

Courtside Pick’em 2/13/2019

Having finished last night at a very mediocre 6-4, as well as losing on the Teaser of the week sucks. However if 6-4 is my bad, then I don’t have much complaining to do to be honest. But as we say in the gambling world, on to the next slate of games, so here you go:

South Carolina (+15.0) @ Tennessee o/u 149.5 The Pick: over

Providence (+10.5) @ Villanova o/u 134.5 The Pick: Villanova -10.5

Memphis (-8.5) @ East Carolina o/u 150.5 The Pick: Memphis -8.5

Clemson (-3) @ Miami o/u 126.5 The Pick: Clemson -3

Duquesne (+1.5) @ La Salle o/u 136.5 The Pick: Duquesne +1.5

Iona (+2.5) @ Siena o/u 136.5 The Pick: Siena -2.5

Syracuse (+3) @ NC State o/u 143.5 The Pick: Syracuse +3

Georgia Tech (+12) @ Virginia Tech o/u 122.5 The Pick: Under

Georgetown (+4) @ Seton Hall o/u 156 The Pick: Georgetown +4

Boise State (+6) @ Fresno State o/u 141 The Pick Fresno State -6

Teaser Tuesday: Courtside Pick’em 2/12/2019

Purdue (-2.5) @ Maryland o/u 141 The Pick: Maryland +2.5

St. Bonaventure (+1.5) @ Saint Joseph o/u 134 The Pick: SJU -1.5

Buffalo (-7.5) @ Akron o/u 146 The Pick: Akron +7.5

Davidson (-7.5) @ Fordham o/u 126 The Pick: Davidson -7.5

Pitt (+2.5) @ Boston College o/u 139 The Pick: Over

Michigan State (-1.5) @ Wisconsin o/u 135 The Pick: Under

Marquette (-3.5) @ DePaul o/u 150 The Pick: Marquette -3.5

Michigan (-7) @ Penn State o/u 129 The Pick: Michigan -7

Duke (-8.5) @ Louisville o/u 153 The Pick: Duke -8.5

Kansas State (+3) @ Texas o/u 123 The Pick: Kansas State+3

The Courtside Tuesday Teaser of the Week