Eagles lose to Saints in very Eagle-ish fashion

Very often this year, we Eagles fans have had to bear witness to more than a couple of last second, “What the fuck?”, type of losses. Whether it’s the Titans, Cowboys, or Buc’s, the Eagles have lost plenty-and in a surprisingly unsurprising fashion. Last year Nick Foles did a crazy off-brand Philadelphia sports move, and decided to win something eventually leading to the first Super Bowl championship in Eagles history. In addition to that we then won a playoff game the this year because of the Chicago Bears’ stupidity to beat the Vikings (and let the Birds in the playoffs) to then lose to them on a double doinker. Then to end this shit 2018 football season we mustered up a 14-0 lead against the 1 seeded Saints in the Super Dome to then lose on essentially, a fake punt and 4th down touchdown. Like, seriously?

Honestly after watching the game tape back a couple of times, and going through the normal stages of depression, I’ve come to the conclusion that we will be back here next season with a very hungry roster. Sadly the great Big Dick Nick will most likely not be on our roster next season, but we will have a very talented and healthy Carson Wentz back under center. Just a reminder that Carson Wentz was on track to be the 2017 MVP, and then put up MVP-level numbers whilst injured this year. Gonna be honest, I was of the opinion that if Foles won this game, then we should trade Wentz, but as we all know that didn’t happen. But in spite of my Foles love, honestly Carson Wentz is probably the better option going forward looking at all the data. But in honor of Foles here’s his 2017 playoff highlights:

To continue, with Carson Wentz fully healthy at QB and a defense I suspect to continue playing at the level they were in these playoffs, we will be back at this position next year, possibly at the Linc’. And I believe with a QB that has the natural talent that Carson Wentz has, we will always have a good chance to win not only these playoffs games but Super Bowls year-in and year-out… and just to remind you of Carson’s greatness I’ll leave you with this video: this is what we’re looking forward to.

Christmas Comes Early: Big Dick Nick destroys Sean McVay & Co

A year and some change ago from today the Eagles went to LA to play the Rams in a game where Nick Foles would eventually take over for an injured Carson Wentz, and we all pretty much know what happened from there. Now this year Nick Foles again took over for an injured Wentz against the very same team, sprinkled some of his Big Dick Magic, and got a win against debatable the best team in the NFC, highlights below if you’re a scumbag and didn’t watch

Nick Foles statistically didn’t play up to his standards dropping 270 passing yards, no TDs, and a passer rating of 89.4 but his impact was immeasurable. The whole team just looked like they had a different energy and feeling to them. Just look at my Pittsburgh Panther brother Avonte Maddox, a glorified special teams player that allowed a receiver to get almost 300 yds in front of my very face when he played at Pitt, but last night he actually looked like a competent corner as he had a interception and covered the rams receiving core very well. Alshon Jeffrey also looked like the top ten receiver he is snagging 160 yards in the air including catching an absolute bomb from Big Dick Nick

Next week the surging Texans will come to the Linc to get there very own taste of Nick Foles and the gang which will be the biggest game of the season as its a must win. To end this recap i’ll leave you Nicko Mode, the greatest thing ever made, you’re welcome

Eagles win biggest game of the season

Last night the Philadelphia eagles won undebatable the biggest game of the season against the redskins, securing a much needed divisional game in the process. highlights below

Golden Tate and Jordan Matthews looked really good, both seem to be developing strong connections with Carson Wentz. Doug Pederson called a running play on fourth and goal instead of passing which I thought was questionable and would cost us later, thankfully it didn’t. We also allowed a very painful 90 yard rushing touchdown courtesy of a 33 year old, but other than that our rushing defense looked very good. Darren Sproles is officially back even managing to get a TD, and honestly wasn’t an initial fan of our other running back Josh Adams but he continues to impress me more each game. Additionally Wentz looked good despite having tunnel vision on a couple plays and an interception in the redzone.

The only thing holding me back from ever being confident about the eagles is that I can only name one corner-back on the active roster, shout out to Sidney Jones, so any given Sunday we will most likely get torched by a competent wide receiver. This wasn’t a problem against the Redskins because luckily they had shit wide receivers and two shit QB’s playing last night. However next week we are only going up against one shit QB, pretty solid receivers, and a very good running back that have had over a week of prep… doesn’t make us getting a win against our the scumbag Cowboys seem very likely but that’s a topic for another day, in-depth analysis to come.

The Truth behind the Dwight Howard Buttock Scandal

Last week I wrote an in depth analysis piece, where I took a look into what is really happening with Markelle Futz and his mysterious injury. If you haven’t read yet I’d highly recommend: courtsidetakes.com/2018/11/26/the-truth-behind-the-fultz-injury-conspiracy/

Not to toot my own horn or anything by that piece went on to have wild success so as a result I will continue to do these somewhat in-depth research blogs on a recent scandal every Sunday. That brings us to this week’s scandal where i will be diving into Dwight Howard’s recent injury to his glute, or in laymen’s terms his ass. I believe he will need some kind of surgical procedure done, perhaps a buttopsy or ass realignment if you will, but what is fascinating about this injury is it’s cause. 

Earlier this week a author by the name of Masin Elije dropped what is comparable to a bomb on the sports world by tweeting out about the details of her secret relationship with Dwight. 

The basic gist of the story is Dwight was having a secret intimate relation with a trans woman named Masin Elije. Masin then found out that Dwight was not only seeing her, but was also going to what i understand are transgender sex parties ran by a some transgender prostitute orgy ringleader referred to as “Ass Pastor” being that her/his name is still unknown. I’m not gonna dig to far into that this part because I’m sure you can infer what Dwight Howard was/is doing at these parties. But following Masin’s discovering of this “Ass Pastor” began calling, stalking, threatening Masin to keep quiet about all of it presumably on Dwight Howard’s order. Dwight Howard still has yet to comment on any of these which leans me to believe the story as true 

Then later in the week the Wizards announced that Dwight Howard has a glute injury that will require surgery. However there still has been no comments or any word on where this injury stems from. To my knowledge it hasn’t been referred to as a basketball injury by the Wizards or Dwight himself. This leads me to believe that Dwight Howard has to get surgery on his butt due to him taking to much in the caboose as he is definitely a power bottom in the bedroom as opposed to a normal basketball injury. It is unclear though whether Masin Elije, his fellow orgy members, or a third party was the cause of this but I can say the mystery behind Dwight Howard’s injury, like Markelle Fultz, has been uncovered by your’s truly