Never in my life have I believed that a one handed man could dominate college football, or the NFL for that matter. However, that belief was shattered about this years ago when the great Shaquem Griffin was named first all conference for the second time in two years at UCF, and won the AAC defensive player of the year. All this to go with an undefeated season and the unofficial title of 2018 college football national champs his senior year. The man kinda makes me feel like shit, being that he’s definitely accomplished more in his life so far than I ever will despite having half the amount of hands than I do.
To add to his crazy story, the 22 year old linebacker prospect has completely destroyed his competition at the NFL draft combine. He began by benching 225 20 times, with essentially one hand and one numb, and went on to run a 4.38 40 yard dash. Not only has he already destroyed me in life, but he is faster than any NFL linebacker was at his age since 2003. This man has star potential written all over him, plus has maybe the greatest story entering the draft in NFL history. Official consider myself not only apart of team Shaquem Griffin but driving the fucking bus, so when he becomes a top 6 linebacker in the NFL I can say I told you so. In the unlikely chance you read this Shaquem, keep eatin and CourtsideVP will always have your back.
It seems that every year I make it a tradition to pick and root against LeBron in the eastern conference finals. While I generally never really believe he’ll get upset, aside from Paul George’s Pacers, this year it feels different. I Believe Kyrie Irving is better than people give him credit for, honestly he’s about 85% of the reason LeBron hasn’t lost 6 of the 8 finals he’s been in. Sorry LeBron lovers if I’ve offended you but its true.
Aside from having the constantly improving Kyrie Irving, the Celtics are better in every aspect of basketball. They have a better coach, bench, starting five, defense, and their front office has already fleeced the Cavs before the season even started. The NBA should basically market this game as LeBron vs the Celtics because the rest of the Cavs are essentially worthless garbage you’d find at a garage sale. Despite this I’m still very excited to see this playoff match-up solely for the feuds that will take place, you’ve got Kyrie vs Lebron, Isaiah Thomas against his former team, and you know players like Jaylen Brown and JR Smith will be talking major shit before hand. Plus you’ve got number 1 and 2 in flops per game going head to head in Marcus Smart and LeBron, so that should be entertaining for a little before it inevitably makes me infuriated.
All in all I’m excited to see the Celtics dethrone the soft wanna be GOAT otherwise known as Lebron. Also sorry to the rest of the eastern conference if you were offended i didn’t mention you but you haven’t been worth mentioning in almost a decade. Don’t get mad cause I honestly wish I was wrong, being a Sixers fan myself, but I’m not. To end this post I’m gonna say sorry to all the LeBron fans out there cause the King’s reign is over.
Just when I thought the Raiders franchise couldn’t get any crazier after choosing to move to bachelor party capital, the Sin City, or to you common folk Las Vegas, they’ve went ahead added Jon Gruden for the next 10 years for 100 million dollars, yes you read that right. Never in my right mind did I think Jon Gruden was gonna get offered a head coaching position in the NFL let alone take the job, I mean the man had it set as an analyst. Just thinking of Monday night football without him scares me to little. The only thing allowing me to sleep is imagining Tony Romo taking his place and continuing to magically predict the future as if he was god damn Nostradamus.
Though I will be saddened next year by the loss of Jon Gruden in the booth, I feel like he’ll make it up by winning a game off spider 2 Y banana than an hour later getting sighted cleaning up at a black jack table in Caesars Place. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if we see the Raiders dominate the AFC west next year, just look at the roster he is inheriting; Derek Carr, Khalil Mack, Amari Cooper, Marshawn Lynch, need i say more. Imagine what the QB whisper with be able to do with this team. Another bonus to Jon Gruden on the Raiders are the future interactions between Gruden, Carr, and Lynch. Only thing that could make it better was if you added Odell Beckham into the mix.
On that note and to end this stupid post I’m gonna go ahead and pick the Raiders to win the AFC and make the Superbowl next year, forcing a physically defeated Tom Brady and mentally defeated Belichick into retirement together following the loss. You heard it here first, in 2019 Jon Gruden will beat Belichick and Brady in the game of football.
I know this may be a little late but i’d like to congratulate the real 2018 college football national champions, the UCF knights. After going win less two years ago the program miraculously had a two year turn around ending in an undefeated season to go along with a national championship. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I can now discuss the fake 2018 national champs, widely known as the Roll Tide.
No matter what you call them, this Alabama team will never be my national champs and anyone that views it otherwise is simply wrong. They shouldn’t even have made the CFP in the first place, but the committee as always has a southern, or should i say Alabama, bias. Alabama didn’t have any quality wins this year, with there best one coming against a miserable SEC program that lost to Troy homecoming weekend, and the only respectable program they played was Auburn, who they lost too. I can’t say I’m surprised though, being that it is Alabama and the playoff committee has shown over the years that they have a hard on for the roll tide. Just look at how happy Nick Saban was, that’s the face of a man that knows he’s not the real champ.
To make this even more annoying is that the actually national champions, UCF, beat Auburn, Alabama’s only loss, their last game of the season. I’m no genius but I’m pretty sure that means UCF is better than Alabama. If the two ever did meet on a football field, I’d predict UCF to win in a similar fashion as they did in 2000. Never the less as I said before, UCF will always in my eyes be the 2018 college football national champions and it is plain disrespectful to even put Alabama and 2018 national champion in the same sentence. It’s so disrespectful that I believe the football gods will, if they haven’t already, curse Alabama football and the rest of that school for the next decade. You heard it here first everybody, Alabama will not win another national championship, maybe even SEC championship for the next decade. Finally I’d like to congratulation UCF, aka the people’s national champions.