The Truth Behind Rob Kraft and His Florida Hand Jibbers

Unless you live under a rock or are Amish, you probably heard the crazy news this morning. Robert Kraft, President and CEO the Patriots, has had a warrant put on him for being involved in a sex trafficking ring at a Jupiter, Florida strip mall day spa (pictured below)… yes that’s the actual place he got busted at.

Image result for jupiter florida strip mall

Jim Boeheim may be the luckiest mother fucker on the planet because never did I think the “Jim Boeheim Kills a Guy” headline could be topped, but 24 hours later here we are with with “Robert Kraft Gets Busted in Sex Trafficking Ring”.

Now let’s get into it, basically what happened was Rob Kraft pulled up to a Florida strip mall earlier in the week where he got a “massage” from what sources close to the Florida FBI are saying was a forced sex worker, who’s identity is unknown. Other notable “clients” of the Jupiter day spa include Richard “Dick” Palmer, Mingfu Lu, & 85 year old Daniel “Not So Young” Young. There is also “100% certainty” of a video that incriminates Rob Kraft going public in the near future, but sadly isn’t available yet. In spite of this a source with Rob Kraft says that they deny any illegal activity, but honestly he should just own it at this point. According to my writer @coolguypgh, he will only face a max 2 months in prison which isn’t terrible and considering he’s besties with Meek Mill Kraft definitely has a hella ton of street cred.

The people I really feel for are the Brady kids. I’m sure that none of them asked Tom to continue kissing them on the lips for eternity, but now they may have some sort of sex trafficking super STD because of it. Bad parenting on the supposed “GOAT” Tom Brady if I do say so myself.

-VP

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Bombshell Announcement Happening… Courtside is Back

If you are reading this post you probably have already learned the colossal announcement but if you haven’t here you go, Courtside is Back Baby… Similar to many of the all time greats in our society, from Tiger Woods to Notre Dame Football, Courtside has been through a rough patch recently from a lack of content and inactivity but we are coming back up from the ashes like a phoenix to give you the most entertaining and unfiltered news that we possibly can. Now some of you i’m sure are saying “But VP, Courtside was never here in the first place? Don’t you guys just slander Len Bias on twitter?” To that i say Courtside is more than just a slanderous twitter account, even thought both of those things may have been true,, but we’ve changed somewhat (Don’t worry there will still be Len Bias Content). But nevertheless if you enjoy hot takes from somewhat funny guys give us a try for a little. If you haven’t already i’d go give our main twitter account and follow @CourtsidePhila to keep up to date with any news or updates. But i know a few things that are certain and will be for the foreseeable future.

First, our radio show “Chuck’s Chat” hosted by my personal friend and Courtside’s chief of broadcasting Chuck, along with Jeff and Zocco,is a must listen every Friday slotted in the prime time 4pm-5pm slot if you want to hear about any past and upcoming sports news. Listen @ https://clubs.sju.edu/radio1851/ or go to the Radio tab on this very site

Second, our site, you know the one you’re on, will be written on just about every day by mostly Myself and newly hired @coolguypgh, along with some contribution from Chuck and of course the boss man, aka Commander in Chief, aka Chief . If you’re, for god knows why, interested in writing we’re always looking for talent so get in touch. 

Last, your favorite podcast Courtcast will be returning in the near future which will still include the Courtside Board of Trustees along with the occasional guest appearances. We will try to record more as it gets popular so make sure you view it because I know for a fact you’ll enjoy it and will want more. You can view past episodes on this very website or on our YouTube channel, and they will also hopefully be available on soundcloud, don’t quote me on that though

Hopefully you all decide to listen to my wise words and become Courtside Fans. If so feel free to follow me on twitter @courtsidevp and keep reading